A discovery of witches

I’m reading Deborah Harkness’ A Discovery of Witches. I started out skeptic because it’s a book about witches. But as I read it I grew to like it because it wasn’t just about witches, it was a witch who refused to acknowledge her powers. A creature of science and reason, the witch did everything to ignore the supernatural around her while denying her legacy. Even when the vampire showed up, I almost groaned and rolled my eyes, afraid it was yet another vampire love story. But the vampire was more interested in her powers than her so any potential love story was kept at bay. There may have been some sexual tension or a hint of something to come, but that’s okay because it wasn’t disgusting “I love you and no other” ala Twilight. It was a pretty cool story about a witch who discovered a powerful book that explained the creation of their powers and every creature – witch, vampire, daemon – wanted their hands on it.

That was a few chapters ago. Half way through the book, the author decided, to hell with what could be an interesting twist on witch-vampire-daemon relations and turned it into a paranormal love story.

my kiss demanded he tell me what the problem was. Matthew’s only answer was to move his mouth against mine. He stroked the pulse in my neck, then floated his hand down to cup my left breast, now stroking my arm and my heart. With his other hand at my waist, he pulled me more tightly against him.

YES I AM SURE IT WAS YOUR HEART HE WAS FEELING. The next time a guy grabs my boobs he must be trying to figure out what my heart is saying.

after a long while, Matthew loosened his hold enough that he could speak. “you are mine now.”
My lips were too numb to reply, so I nodded and kept a firm grip on his backside.

Perhaps she was feeling for his heart too.

he stared down at me, “Still no doubts?”
“None.”
“We are one, from this moment forward. Do you understand?”
“I think so.” I understood, at the very least, that no one and nothing was going to keep me from Matthew.

And apparently that was the vampire way that showed they belonged to each other till the end of time because the vampire started referring to the witch as “wife” and she said oh hell why not and started calling him “husband”. If my husband had done that without the cake and the dress, I’d have smacked him twice over.

Matthew was making it clear that those days and nights were over. With him there would be no more straightforward sex – and I’d had no other kind. I might as well be a virgin. My deep feelings for him were becoming inextricably bound with my body’s responses, his fingers and mouth tying them together in complicated, agonizing knots.

I WANT TO ROLL MY EYES. So with a vampire, it’s not just amazing sex. It’s OMGOMGORGASMSMSMOMG sex without the orgasm. That is how great vampire sex would be. So great even Sting and his Kamasutra Wikipedia can’t fight this.

So she explore his body after he has hers.

“Oh Matthew.” my worst fears were realised. There were dozens, if not hundreds, of marks. I knelt and pulled the sheet down to his feet. They were on his legs too.

I guess this is the point that the author was trying to make was that he’s a warrior. Whatever.

I pulled the sheets over my head like a tent. Then there was silence except for an occasional gasp from Matthew, the crackle of the logs in the fireplace, and in time his own cry of pleasure. Tucking myself under his arm, I hooked my leg over his.

I frankly didn’t realise what was happening until I read it twice. I really thought she pulled the covers over her own head because she was throwing a tantrum. WTF?!?!?!

Kramer is shocked

“it’s magic. I was born knowing how to make you happy.” my hand rested on his heart, pleased that I instinctively understood where and how to touch him, when to be gentle and when to leave my passion unchecked.

She made it sound as if her only existence in life is to give him a blow job. Also I don’t think it’s instinct to know where the penis is and where to put it.

“That’s what makes it magic,” I said, planting a soft kiss above his collar. He was still purring when he put me down on the back porch.

He isn’t just a vampire. he’s VAMPIRE CAT.

But there are some funny parts in the story. Like the 1990 movie Truly Madly Deeply about a couple who loved each other so much that when the guy died, he couldn’t bear to be away from his wife so he came back as a ghost. So she lived in their home with her ghostly husband and his ghost friends who come to visit. In this book, the witch also lives in a world full of ghosts, happily co-existing with her and her living family as her ghostly ones.

I peeked around Matthew’s shoulder to give her a grateful smile. My aunts were surrounded by a mob of ghosts, all of whom were solemnly nodding in agreement.

There are also parts of the story where the author attempts to build a world of magic and science. She embraces historical fiction by extending a scientific idea with traces of magical influence in it.

“Remember Diana: ‘The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed.’” quote by Albert Einstein.

The book improved towards the end because they stopped concentrating on love, sex and each other and instead focused on the witch discovering her powers and the secrets that her family has been keeping from her all her life. I wouldn’t mind reading the next book to find out what happens next. The funny sex kinda makes it entertaining.

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