I was shopping at Vivocity when I was stopped by someone. Thinking it was a surveyor, I agreed to be entertained for 5 minutes because I used to do market research and I understand how difficult it is to get surveys done. However it turned out to be a walking telemarketer who was pushing a spa promotion. It was an affordable $30 for 60 minutes of any treatment at Beyond Beauty so I took it, based on the guarantee that they won’t be pushing any packages to me.
Beyond Beauty has several outlets in the north (Serangoon Gardens), central (Orchard Central, Park Mall and Pacific Plaza) but I went to the one nearest to my office at Malacca Centre (Raffles Place). It wasn’t too hard trying to find parking after 5pm (Golden Shoe Car Park $3 / entry) right across the road. When you get out of the car park, you see Beyond Beauty on the ground floor.
I’ve been to Beyond Beauty once for a manicure / pedicure using a Groupon like coupon. While the manicurist’s service was okay, I didn’t like the receptionist who made a face when I told her I wasn’t interested in signing packages. I decided to give them a second chance, but at a different outlet, and try out their massage instead.
I had to take off my shoes at the entrance. The receptionists were not unfriendly but they were not welcoming either. I handed over my voucher and made to fill in a form. The bathroom was in the basement where there’s no phone reception, which isn’t a big deal unless you get trapped in the toilet and you can’t call anyone to save you.
They gave me an English-speaking masseuse, thank goodness, because there was no way I’m going to relax while mentally translating everything before I speak. My massage consisted of a very quick back scrub followed by a Swedish massage.
I typically don’t know how to enjoy massages. Half the time I’m lying there trying to get comfortable, or trying to ignore the strand of hair tickling my face. This time round, I really didn’t enjoy my massage. First instead of using slow measured strokes that I’m used to, she moved her hands really quickly in a rubbing motion so I felt like over-tenderised meat, like beef cooked in Chinese restaurants with overhanded black pepper sauce. It also felt like she was trying to finish the massage in 5 minutes.
half way through the massage I started feeling a slow burn. It was as if I was getting a fever. It was a strange feeling since the massage cream was on my back, not my front. It was only when I asked that she said the massage bed was heated. Okay thanks for informing the client that. When I flipped onto my back, she started massaging my tummy. DO YOU KNOW HOW WEIRD THAT FELT?
The room was relatively clean, the heated bed was comfortable. However the walls were thin and I spent the entire massage listening to the receptionists 2 rooms away. Then someone moved into the room next door and I could hear them so clearly it was as if they were in the same room.
*knock on door* ARE YOU READY?
I AM SHOWERING
YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO SHOWER ONLY AFTER THE BACK SCRUB.
OH REALLY? OOPS SORRY!
in between all the noise, I was listening to the relaxing spa music all spas like to play. except this place was playing some random chinese sounding tune of the ding ding ding variety. It was only after paying attention to it that I realised it was a Chinese New Year tune, that blended into a Christmas song, then back into a CNY tune. Pray tell how is that supposed to help me relax?
Guarantee my ass
after the massage I was brought out to a room to have tea. Immediately the sales person started pressurising me into buying a package. I told her frankly I didn’t enjoy the massage, nothing about the masseuse but I didn’t like her technique. Then I told her I didn’t like the place. She tried to sweeten the offer by another package with a better deal, and even a no interest installment plan.
Would I go back again, I guess not.