It was an ordinary Monday, like all other ordinary Mondays, except that I remember that Monday I was in an extraordinarily good mood. Perhaps it was because one of my team mates was back from her 2 week vacation so I could finally hand her duties back to her. As I was updating her over the 2 weeks she was gone, my boss appeared at my desk with a slightly constipated look.
“uhhh ehhhh” he began.
I raised an eyebrow.
“ehhh are you in a good mood today?” he asked.
I was slightly suspicious. My boss of all people knew what my moods were like. he even made jokes to my team that they shouldn’t speak to me in the mornings, and that the one lesson they should learn is to read my facial expressions before bothering me with anything.
“ehhh i’ve got bad news.” he continued.
I sighed while my head ran with what could have gone wrong. a project cancelled? an approval paper rejected? CEO mad at something we did? numbers were down? there were so many possibilities. my boss rarely gets ruffled like that so for him to look as if he had something stuck up his arse meant it was REALLY BAD.
He asked again if my mood was bad so I said to let me take a sip of coffee first coz caffeine solves everything. both of them watched me as I took a gulp of coffee and braced myself for the bad news.
“ehhh peacock scratched your car.” he hesitated.
there was a pause as the news registered in my head. first it’s not work related. second it’s about a wut? and with my car? slowly, i stood up. my team mate got out of my way. I started walking briskly to the car park with my boss tailing behind me. He started explaining that one of my colleagues was parking her car when she caught the peacock red-handed. it was at that moment when it hit me OH MY GOD THE BLOODY BIRD SCRATCHED MY CAAAAAARRRRR and that was when I started running. my colleagues looked up as I ran by cursing and swearing. One mused, “eh her car got attacked?” as if apart from running out of the building if it were on fire, the other possible calamity would have been a bird attack.
I got to my car. There was no bird in sight. I squinted at the paint work but didn’t see anything Most of the scratches on it were existing ones so I thought my boss was playing a badly orchestrated prank on me. He was already puffing nervously on a cigarette as he watched my reaction. I was like where what? he then pointed at the front bumper of the car.
That was when I screamed like a Freddy Krueger moment. all the busybodies from office were already out and they gasped in chorus behind me. the girl who scared the peacock off took a picture for me as I wailed at the state of my car. My boss tried to console me by pointing out that the other car the peacock attacked was my big boss’ car and hers was a much worse situation. when we gathered around her car, there was a chorus of groans and agreements that perhaps we should all hide at our desks until her storm was over. my nervous boss decided he should probably hide at home instead.
I was ready to kill some peacock.
While everyone thought this was just a case of bad luck, I have a very strong feeling it was more of a streak of vengeance. That morning itself as I was making a sharp turn into the office car park, I almost ran over a peacock who decided that standing right in the path of cars was a good way to start his morning. I hit the brakes at the very last minute while he flapped and squawked out of the way rather ungracefully. watching the large bird make a fool of himself, I laughed out loud coz it was really funny. it must have been the same bird as it only attacked my big boss’ car and my car, and both our cars are red. that one pissed off bird really made his point.
the next time, I’m not going to even bother with the brakes. bloody bird.