Things I learnt about cats

While sammiehead is deciding if she’s ready to adopt a kitten, here are some things I learnt while living with the boys (Fido & Grey):

Cats are very cute. They often get themselves into poses such as this. Perfect for Instagram moments.

Cat pee is very smelly. good to buy compact paper litter (grey colour), which are not only very absorbent and hides the smelly a bit better than the clay litter, it’s better for cats too (apparently the clay ones are BAD).

Cats don’t need to be walked twice a day. they can be litter trained, unless you’re a grouchy ol’ bastard like Grey and pees outside of the box. Fido on the other hand is one smart cat. the one time his litterbox was being washed, he squatted over the drain hole in the bathroom and peed into the drain!

You can be allergic to cats, but not their hair, it’s their dead skin cells. I never knew I was allergic until I got close to Fido. I touched my face after patting him once and i got a ring of rash around my mouth. I also get into sneezing fits if i’m not careful. this can be countered by stringent hand washing after every cuddle. troublesome but sometimes worth it.

We feed our cats twice a day.

Cats poop perhaps once a day. and it stinks. (unlike rabbit poop which smells like roses).

Cats have different characteristics. Grey is arrogant and doesn’t like anyone except Bryan. he hisses at me all the time, and we keep out of each others way. Fido has the personality of a dog. he follows us around the house, maos at us until we pat him, and absolutely loves attention. Fido is the perfect pet coz he’s a dog that doesn’t bark.

Cats sleep about 13-18 hours a day. I want to be reincarnated into a cat.

Cats purr to display happiness. it’s like they swallowed a vibrator.

Cats catch lizards. this house is lizard free. which is why I put up with the sneezing. coz i hate lizards.

Grey doesn’t mind it if you were to lift / carry him. Fido hates it though. if you tried to carry him he’d mao like he lost his best friend. however Fido is a lap cat. he loves to jump up onto your lap and sit there purring. Grey hates sitting on laps. he prefers to be left alone.

Cats shed hair, like dogs & rabbits. so be prepared to either live with the hair, or be twice as anal about cleaning the house. Bryan & I are both allergic so we don’t allow the cats onto the bed, and only into the room if we were going to clean it the next day. the fur can only be swiftly removed by vacuum cleaner. I tried sweeping balls of hair once. it was an exercise of futility. Best way to punish someone you don’t like.

Some cats are happy being house cats. Fido is too chicken shit to step out of the house although he peers out of the gate very curiously. Grey on the other hand, sneaks out every time someone opens the door. the one time he sneaked out without anyone noticing, he spent the night perched on a ledge shivering in the cold. stupid cat didn’t learn his lesson though. still sneaks out like a senile cat suffering from dementia. if you don’t want to get a perpetual heart attack every time you can’t find your cat in their usual spots, i advise putting up wire mesh across gates and window grilles which they can easily access.

Cats love to scratch stuff. be prepared to have ruined furniture. there are many ways to stop them from doing so. give them a good scratching post. there are special mats you can buy to lay around the item you’re protecting that will prevent cats from stepping on it. keep precious things like pianos covered when not in use. get a spray bottle coz it’s really effective. Fido now scrambles whenever i wave the bottle threateningly at him.

Hairballs. my first encounter with these ghastly things was when my ex’s cat, bent over like a drug addict, stomach heaving like aliens were about to crawl out of it, and with what sounded like the death keel of Loch Ness monster Gwaaawwkkkkzkkzakwkkwakakwakghhakwkhaakh, coughed out a hairball covered with saliva. it was the most unsexy thing ever, but necessary, considering that they eat a fair amount of hair when they preen and hair doesn’t really belong anywhere in the digestive system. Rabbits have an amazing way of pooping out these hairballs in a graceful manner but cats? for all their pompous I-am-better-than-thou demeanour, they haven’t figured this one out yet.

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4 comments

  1. marajaded · · Reply

    what are these mats you speak off?! hmmm.. i bought a fabric sofa to deal with this, so at least i can change the whole cover if it gets destroyed by the cat(s)..

  2. Lumos · · Reply

    Not all cats scratch furniture 🙂 kit cat likes to scratch our day bed cushions so thank god for that, at least they are cheaper to replace

    As for hair on the bed, u can buy this black sponge from daiso where u basically ‘scrub’ the bed and the hair will gather and u can remove it easily. If the black sponge is not avail there is an orange sponge with yellow scrubs (?) which works the same way

    1. we got a mini vacuum cleaner! mostly to pick my hair off the floor actually 😛

      Fido scratches everything. the door, the post we got him, bryan’s leather bag… stupid cat.

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