I asked Bryan out of the things we did today, which was the most monumental?
- Going for Final Theory test
- Signing our home loan with Maybank
- Opening our first joint account together with Maybank (to service the loan)
- Signing our first home insurance
He thought about it for awhile. Personally I got really excited that we were opening a joint account together despite the fact that signing on the dotted line for our flat was a much bigger deal. But I remembered the time when my dad remarked that my brother and his girlfriend just opened a joint account together and casually asked Bryan if we were going to open one together, Bryan poo poo-ed the idea and said it wasn’t necessary as he transfers the monthly installment for the car to me already. There’s no need for a joint account. Apparently he wasn’t thinking beyond the car.
Bryan admitted it was the proposing as he was really nervous about it, although he didn’t give anything away. a few weeks ago he jokingly asked if I preferred to know that the proposal was coming or to be surprised, I gave him “is that the dumb question of the month?” look before saying I preferred a surprise, not like it’s going to be much of a surprise since we’re committed to the flat already. When I asked what’s there to be nervous about, he said he was afraid I wouldn’t like the proposal.
Actually when the proposal happened, I didn’t even realise there was a proposal going on. We were both lying on the bed where he was fidgeting a hell lot while I was trying to show him the music video of Adele’s Rolling in the Deep (which is now my new favourite song), when he suddenly gave me this look and announced, “I got something to tell you.”
and my response? “oh, this can’t be good.”
He gave me a earnest look and continued, “you know I want to spend the rest of my life with you right?
him: would you want to spend the rest of your life with me?
me: *giving him this where is this going look* uh… ya…?
and that was when he shoved the box across the mattress into my face. I looked at it and recognised the familiar name of Choo Yi Lin on it. I opened the box and I spotted the ring in it. still not getting it, I asked, “what is this? anniversary present?” knowing that our anniversary is not till 2 months later.
at this, he gave me this woebegone look. You see for the past few months, he’s been feeding me misinformation to keep me from suspecting what he was planning behind my back. he kept insisting that there’s no rush to get married until the flat is ready in 3 YEARS time. He kept making statements that sounded as if he could, he’d drag his feet with this marriage thing for as long as possible. at one point, I accused him of wanting to get a new flat more than wanting to marry me but he’d do the latter just to get his flat. I’m just a means to the end. He guffawed at the look of consternation on my face. He even joked about getting me a one-carrot ring or a pull tab ring off a Coke can, but before reassuring me that marriage or not, I am the person he wants to be with. So of course when he said these lines in the guise of a proposal, I thought he was just reassuring me again, although I was partly confused coz the reassuring usually comes after a tantrum fit of sorts.
Throughout all this play acting, he was working with Yi Lin on my ring. In fact, he contacted her even before I sent the Valentine’s Day nudge to him. Before that, they were figuring out how to find my ring size. He almost resorted to measuring my finger when I’m asleep (which never would have worked since I’m a light sleeper) when I suddenly sent that email enquiry to Yilin’s website to give Bryan a Valentine’s Day nudge. I even gave them my ring size and made their job a whole lot easier.
They then discussed design. Long ago Bryan expressed his reluctance to buy diamonds because of the blood diamond industry and was gratified when I said I didn’t need a diamond, especially knowing how the diamond industry has inflated the actual worth of a diamond through sheer marketing genius and tight control of supply by one diamond company. Rubies were apparently out of the question too coz of some Burma thing, which I haven’t figured out what was the issue yet. So Yilin offered hm a choice of gemstones he picked the one that caught his eye, and which also turned out to be my birthstone Aquamarine.
she drew a few designs and they decided on what looked like leaves that will run along the band before turning to clasp the stone at 3 corners. in between the leaves were teeny diamonds that I believe are clean ones, considering Yilin’s business principles. She then made a wax mould of the ring and showed it to Bryan, before proceeding to work on the ring itself. All this plotting occurred since February and all this while, meeting Yilin to collect my birthday present and such, I was none the wiser. Bryan was secretly afraid that I would find out, always minimising his emails when I walked into the room, or not so secretly hiding the secret folder labelled “RING” in his documents folder.
so there was the ring, sitting on the cushion between us, holding its breath in anticipation. I picked up the ring, not sure what it was for but not daring to think it’s THE ONE RING, I asked him which finger to put it on. I mean if he said on the ring finger on your left hand, it’s a SURE SIGN right? you know what the idiot said? “any finger”. OF COURSE I THOUGHT THIS WASN’T THE ONE RING RIGHT? so I shoved it on the finger furthest away from the ONE FINGER, which was the ring finger on my right hand, and then realised it didn’t fit. the ring was too small.
He freaked out. apparently when he noticed I shifted my cocktail ring from my left hand to my right, he thought it was coz the ring was too big for the left hand, so he asked Yilin to reduce it by 0.5 a size. she went to reduce it by far more and the ring doesn’t even go past my pig knuckle. But little did he know the reason I moved my cocktail ring to my right hand was coz everyone thought THAT was the ONE RING and I was getting annoyed by the GASP OF SURPRISE look on a few people’s faces. so I tried the ring all all the fingers on my right hand, finally letting it slide down the pinkie finger. waiting for some sort of “no silly, it’s on this finger” while referring to the left ring finger, he instead said, ok why don’t you wear it on your pinkie finger.
so for a good 5 minutes, I wasn’t sure if this were a proposal coz I didn’t want to be too excited if it turned out it wasn’t, considering all the smoke signals he was giving. and because my reaction wasn’t the SCREAMING JUMPING CRYING HAPPY sort, he thought I was disappointed, so that made him more reluctant to admit what he was really doing. it got a bit ridiculous coz this proposal was turning into a “not really a proposal unless you want it to be” proposal. I tell you, you’d never think this boy, who shouts at people who steals his cabs, or “NAH BEY! BU YAO LE!” at the Geylang beef kway teow stall for forgetting his order, would be THIS shy about something so simple. So finally he admitted ya this is the proposal, isn’t “I want to spend my life with you” obvious enough? coz he thought it was pretty obvious.
I facepalmed. perhaps if he had done a whole song and dance and covered the bed with petals, or blow WILL YOU MARRY ME clouds in the sky, I might have gotten it. Except that I was never one for fanfare, which I had initially warned Aaron, who volunteered to help Bryan organise the proposal, not to do coz both Bryan and I hate being in the centre of any attention, except each other’s of course. I even said once if we were sitting side by side in his bedroom watching TV and he suddenly proposed, that would be okay, coz to me the intention was more important than the performance that led up to it.
Also Bryan is so not the romantic type. he actually repeated the “why don’t you try it on for size” line on me AGAIN with this ring, which he first used when he tried to surprise me with my birthday ring. but he more than makes up for the unromance by being very caring. in response to my colleague’s question of is your boyfriend romantic question, I said truthfully, “not very, but he’s really caring. he cooks and cleans for me, he buys the things I show even the most shallow of interest in, and takes care of my every whim.” to me, it’s the small things that this big person does for his little person that counts.
So after that I made him repeat his proposal lines twice more so I can relive the moment proper, considering the first time it happened, I wasn’t prepared for it.
we’re going to get the ring re-sized so don’t panic if you don’t see it on my finger, no I didn’t change my mind. There’s a penalty for the flat and the home loan. We also have to think of something to engrave on the ring. Bryan tried to google meaningful Radiohead lyrics but realised that none of Radiohead’s songs are romantic (how about “I’m your Creep”?). So anyone has any suggestions?
BT ❤ EQ (our initials)
You had me at zug zug.
BBtan ❤ Burburchan
Nahbey! Wo yao le!