I often have to battle with people’s perceptions of what is the norm, or what is expected of me when it comes to how I should lead my life. In this aspect, everyone has an opinion about it. On top of that, they all think it’s their right to tell me how I should lead my life. This often leaves me aggravated at being told
(1) What to do
(2) What I’m doing wrong
(3) If the decision has been made already and there’s no turning back, how I’ve basically screwed myself over.
The word most often used here is “should”. “You should have done this…” or “why did you do that when you should have…”. Sometimes the word isn’t used explicitly but implied in between the lines. I grew up in an environment where my father encouraged freedom of choice and to accept the consequences thereafter, while my mother lived by a certain set of rules which if I didn’t follow, I would burst into flames and die from it. So you see the confusion there? While I grew up learning to make informed decisions on my own, I still had to bow down to my mother’s well-meaning harangues about what I’m doing wrong with my life.
But these are my parents, they have the natural born right to meddle in my life. But other people? Colleagues? Friends? This is where I draw the line. I try to live by the same rules as my father, not my life, not my business. But apparently this is not a common trait found in most people. Other people’s life? The MORE they want to meddle and “opinionise”.
I’ve decided to use this blog as a platform to share my aggravation, in hopes of relieving the annoyance, but also perhaps one of you reading this might have a few tips on how to deal with such situations which doesn’t involve heavy sighing and dramatic rolling of eyes. Hopefully someone reading this might also learn that it’s time they stop telling their friends what they should or should not do.
As a friend said once, you can’t control people’s opinions but you can control how you feel about it. Hopefully I’ll eventually learn to disregard people’s opinions of the world.