In the car: Driving me, myself & I

Driving alone is a really boring hobby. You’re on the roads surrounded by other drivers, just as alone as you are, but that makes you feel even more lonely. Every day on my drive to and from work, I sit in peak hour traffic watching other drivers as I keep myself entertained at their expense. I count the number of commercial trucks and vans that drive around with one brake light, you cannot imagine the number of times that Wallflowers song pops up in my head. One is amazed at the number of vehicles that drive around with one winking brake light but I guess the drivers aren’t necessarily the owners of the vans and they probably don’t give 2 hoots about its maintanence. Once I was stuck behind a truck with NO BRAKE LIGHTS in tailgate traffic. I drove with my eyes wide open as I gauge the distance between his slowing bumper and my not so slowing bumper. it was a harrowing experience.

Other times I sit there watching the driver in the car behind me. Sometimes it’s a couple on their way to work and talking about whatever household problems they have. sometimes it’s an old lady jabbering into her earpiece, looking like a patient of dementia talking to herself (or a little kid sitting at the back where I can’t see). Once I had a kotaku in the car behind, with 2 sexy manga figurines on his dashboard, straight out of a website. or it could be a lone middle-aged man picking his nose. that was when I learnt that even though no one can really see me in the car, the driver in front could be watching his rear view mirror too. not that I’d ever pick my nose in public.  

Of course you have the occasional idiots who honk you out of the blue. like the bloody BMW who was tailgating me and even had the nerve to honk me when I hit the brakes coz the guy in front of me hit the brakes. Yes Mr BMW, I’m sorry I didn’t turn on my psychic brake detector so I could have done a Nic Cage and predicted 2 secs earlier what the car in front was going to do.

There are the random uncles who don’t give way, like the idiot in the mini bus who refused to slow down, even speeding up when he saw me signalling to enter the highway. like Dude! my lane is disappearing into yours! wtf is your problem! I was so pissed off with that man I started shouting at ranting at the backside of his bus until I turned out 2 exits later. At that moment I wished I had a claw attached to my Swift so I could scoop up his bus and throw it off the highway.

Other days I meet really nice drivers who would slow down and give way. Like this morning while trying to exit the petrol kiosk, I looked to the back of the jam and wondered at which point I could cut in when I noticed the van right in front of my car wasn’t moving. The uncle driver was waving at me to come out and I waved appreciatively at him before swinging my car into the main road.

In the end, my favourite activity to do is to dance in the car. Not necessary foot tapping coz my foot is responsibly kept between brake and accelerator. But when Katy Perry or David Guetta comes on the radio, I start shaking violently in the car in rhythm to the music, never thinking what I look like to other drivers until I caught the car on the right staring puzzedly at me. Dude, you haven’t seen anything yet until I break out my Bhangra moves.


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