There were so many things wrong about last night’s party at Avalon At Large at Marina Bay Sands Convention Centre.
1. Flo Rida wouldn’t go
when we got there around 2am, we expected to wait just a bit before Above & Beyond came on at 330am. however, instead of Steve Aoki on stage, it was some black dude going YO YO YO! I looked at my friend Rubhan and wondered out loud if it’s Flo Rida. he was standing at the edge of the stage, his crotch almost within grasp of the reaching hands of his adoring fans while he rapped some more about how “the club can’t handle him”, which surprisingly sounded more dance floor friendly than what I’d expect from Flo. but then I don’t listen to a lot of hip hop / rap, I think of Pussycat Dolls as hip hop and that pisses a lot of people off, to my amusement. So standing there watching Flo and his bro going on and on in a repetitive beat, was Hip Hop Hell to me. Turned out he didn’t want to get off stage so it was his fault everyone else’s set got pushed back an hour. I hope the other DJs egged him.
2. Steve Aoki couldn’t find his decks
Steve Aoki could have burst onto stage to great applause (seems like Aoki is the in thing now with the 20somethings) but he stood there in darkness trying to figure out something. I guess the event organisers forgot to plug a bright enough light for the DJs. when he started, the crowd went wild. I must admit he’s pretty okay for electronica. He definitely was a crowd pleaser as the entire dance floor of boys who looked 14, and girls in high heels and short skirts start jumping around like mad. this group of 3 chinese boys stood in front of us with their 3 blonde friends and one said to the rest, “we stand here and dance okay? if it’s good we move forward ok?” the other 2 boys nodded enthusiastically. right on, boy.
he dropped a few good tracks like Moby’s I Feel it (synthe mix) and Kid Cudi’s Pursuit of Happiness.
3. Biggest failure of Avalon at Large: their drink coupons
Steve Angello came up next. we were bored so we decided to get drinks. at any major dance event like this, all food and drinks can be purchased using drink coupons. we headed to the coupon station to realise that the smallest denomination of drink coupons was $100, and they were out of it. so they only had $200 drink coupons. at 3 freaking am, why would we need $$200 worth of drinks between 2 people? Zoukout has smaller denominations depending on the type of drink you want and people buy shit loads of it to party the night away. $100? i’d pay $100 for a bottle, but not $100 worth of probably watered down alcohol. FAIL! Luckily, Rubhan was familiar with Sands, so we stepped out of the music hall and went to the nearest food court for good ol’ Heaven & Earth green tea. I don’t need to be drunk to listen to good music.
4. The crowd SUCKED
Above & Beyond finally came on at 4.45am, a good hour and 15 mins after their scheduled slot no thanks to mr rap. only 2 of the trio came on this tour but they were fantastic nonetheless. for a good 2 hours they threw out all their tracks from their Trance Around The World podcast, starting with Take my Hand, which raised goosebumps, and moving onto others like Empire. they even threw in an oldie or two like “Need to Feel Love”. I’d have had SO MUCH FUN! if not for the TERRIBLE crowd. first I had to contend with tall skinny girls who cannot walk properly and keep bumping into me. i was tempted to kick them and watch them fall off their high heels. then there was this bunch of malays on my left who couldn’t keep to their spot. they each took up space good for 7 dancers, and since there were 6 of them, they collectively took up enough space for 42 well-behaved clubbers. if they hadn’t showed up, 42 people would have taken up their spot, and I’d have been a happier person.
there was this girl in their group who was probably high on drugs. she and her friend were dancing around each other like a rooster and a baboon doing the mating dance. I kept shifting myself around to avoid her but she kept taking up more space and following around. one of her friends, another asshole, kept walking backwards and would have backwalked into me if I hadn’t stuck out my hand and gently shoved his back so he would stop. he had the damn cheek to turn around and stare at me. BALIK KAMPUNG LA!
then these 2 drunk chinese girls pushed past me and shoved me aside, before I could say anything, the bunch of girls they were dragging along bumped into me. I shouted at them and at least one turned around to apologise. stupid skinny bitches. Rubhan was no help at all. he kept going on how cute that girl was and how sweet she was for apologising. I smacked his arm so hard I twisted something in my shoulder.
5. A lot of people cannot dance, even to save a kitten
but the few moments of Zen I managed to grab, I really did enjoy their set a lot. the geeky guy of the group was busy sending text messages to the audience via the screen. he alternated between euphoric-like messages to funny ones like the ones at the end, where he lamented how he was worried that their set was pushed back so late and prayed for a miracle. but he was glad that the crowd still stayed on till 7am and he was humbled by our loyalty. “Never stop believing in miracles” he typed before grinning happily at the crowd. I guess they fail to realise their popularity in Asia.
of course, not to be missed, my favourite past time of staring at people who cannot dance. every time these bunch of people start to dance, God kills a kitten. Here’s the hit list:
– 2 girls doing the rooster / baboon imitation
– one guy in trench coat (the fuck?) and french cap and bell bottom pants doing some a-go-go dance
– this butch doing a very hyperactive shuffle. she got thrown out later coz she got caught smoking indoors. orh-bee-goot.
– girl in blue sequin dress with no rythmn
– girl next to her with one arm in the air and head banging
– guy doing chicken flap dance
– 2 girls holding hands, and flapping their other free hand.
– indian girl with big hair who kept jumping backwards into us. she stepped on rubhan’s foot, so he lifted his foot and she fell down. we had a good laugh.
6. There were not enough lasers.
just take a look at the pictures. ‘Nuff said.
7. The organisers didn’t have budget to hire cleaners
by the end of the night, the dance floor was DISGUSTING. there was trash EVERYWHERE. crushed Carlsberg cans, plastic cups, spilled drinks. and there was not a cleaner in sight to sweep it up. at least Zoukout has a force of 40 cleaners all armed with one trash bag and a pair of tongs each to pick up trash along the beach during Zoukout, fruitless task as it may be but the beach would have been in a worse state without them. Avalon? trash everywhere. at the end, there was more trash on the floor than dancers. I had to scrub my feet when I got home.
All in all, I think the event was done poorly. the DJ line-up was fantastic but the event itself could have been done much better. the people on Avalon’s facebook page who thought last night was fantastic must have been on drugs. or don’t get to come out very often.