Starcraft 2: how I’m playing it even though I suck at it

Screenshot2010-08-0423_04_55.jpg picture by burbur

I never thought I’d play Starcraft 2. I’ve never been good with RTS games (real-time strategy) and I don’t think I’ll ever get any better. RTS is where you build your army of little men who hurry around the screen trying to comply to your every wishes. it’s a balance of building up the economy so that you have enough money to build up a strong enough army to hit your enemy, usually other players, before they hit you. there is a huge range of weaponry that demands various types of strategies, be it all air, all land or a mix of both. it also takes a bit of micro managing skills as you tell each unit or groups to go to certain places to do certain things. it’s a lot like SIMS minus the cutesy stuff I guess.

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that’s me taking orders from a floating head.

the last time i played RTS was at a LAN shop with Bryan. not understanding the phrase, “I don’t wanna play RTS…” he started up a game where he challenged me and of course i lost horribly, considering he wasted his university day pitting himself against his hall mates while I was busy doing more fulfilling things (yah right). not only did I lose horribly, I lost rather ungracefully. I slammed the keyboard, slammed the mouse, shouted at the computer and then logged out. he was killing my little army of like probably 5 marines (I was building rather slowly) that he didn’t realise that I had logged out. it was only when i threw myself back into my chair, crossed my arms angrily and sulked that he realised something was wrong.

“WHICH PART OF I DON’T LIKE RTS DON’T YOU GET!”

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anyways, when starcraft 2 finally released after 10 years of long anticipation by fans, that silly boy bought me a game, much to my surprise. well, actually I shouldn’t be all that surprised that he wasn’t listening when I said I don’t play RTS. i resisted for a few weeks until he reminded me that starcraft 2 had campaign mode where I could play on my own by following the storyline. no pressure. no premature dying by the hands of one’s boyfriend.

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NUCLEAR MELTDOWWNNNN!!

so i decided to try the guest pass that came with every box set, smart of Blizzard to provide free 7 hours of gameplay so that you can sucker your friends into it. i tried a few simple levels of campaign on my own, and then my boyfriend came online and he was so excited to see me on Battlenet that he said we could team up and play against computer (2v2) where he could teach me the ropes, show me the way, and not cream me thoughtlessly. i guess that boy does learn his lesson, eventually.

i have to admit it’s surprisingly fun, well i did have the benefit of slowly building my base while my boyfriend expanded his at an alarming rate and started hitting the enemies before i was even ready. at some points, he would array like 100 over units around the enemy camp and wondered what the hell i was doing, when i was actually sending a ghost (some sort of a ninja spy / warrior type unit) to sneak into enemy camp and call down a nuclear meltdown. totally unnecessary, considering the force arranged around the enemy camp, but totally fun!

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