How to bring up your kid over lunch

kid doesn’t belong to me but my penguin! Who’s a mommy now!

When I first joined the company, my lunch group was made up of one mommy and many single or married women without kids. As that one mommy grew lyrical at every garble or spit her kid came up with, we all listened patiently as her kid was her everything. Slowly the group evolved to half mommies half not, and the conversation vacillated between different stages of pregnancy, labour pains and diaper prices. I patiently sat through everything coz if I ever protested one bit, everyone would remind me that this is good wikipedia information I could store for future day’s use.

I have no doubt that it was all practical information I *could* use one day, god forbid if I ever become careless and get myself banged up. However lunch after lunch time topics that range from epidural vs going natural, sore nipples vs nappy rash, my eyes often glaze over and it’s not long before I reach for my iPhone to browse through facebook for familiar sounding topics.

Today at one glance around the lunch table, I realised that the majority has now shifted to the other side; i was the only person at a table of 6 who didn’t have a child related story to tell. Actually if I did have such a story to tell, it’d have been of me staring down a kid who wouldn’t stop screaming. Although instead of sympathizing about badly behaving kids, my colleagues would have told me more positive methods of telling a kid to shut up.

Today’s lunchtime topic was about children’s sleeping habits. A friend was relating how she has to move her kid between both grandparents’ houses and as both house habits differ greatly, the child has to learn to adjust depending on which household she was in, and so did my friend, in reaction to her wee ones’s actions.

Immediately everyone, except me, chimed in with a related story to tell or advice to give. I half listened while I observed the different child rearing habits they each hold. No one could come up with the perfect answer as every child was in a unique position.

Not to be outdone, I decided to chime in with a suggestion. The girls, bless their souls, listened to the single girl try to give child rearing advice, when the closest thing to she looking after a child was when she sat next to a pram with a sleeping baby at a children’s party coz there was nowhere else to sit. They nodded politely and told me how my idea wouldn’t work, and the debate continued as if I hadn’t spoken at all.

I think I should just stick to my iPhone apps.

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