Tubby Burbur

So I gained a little weight since I came back from Melbourne. Evie and I were discussing the phenomenon where we both went through this fat phase every time we return from Australia. I’m not sure if it’s the water there or they throw in an extra serving of lard when they see skinny Asian girls order, but I always come back looking a little tubbier than I had left.

I come back from Tokyo and New York with overweight baggage in my suitcase. Australia? it’s all around my waist. and arms. and face.

At first I tried to ignore it when my colleague pointed it out to me. However, when my mom started poking at my flabby arms, I thought it was time to do something about it. A friend recommended that i used Elancyl’s slimming cream. She nagged that when I hit 30, i should take extra care of myself. she said she’s been using the cream for years and it works. Looking at her, a petite lady only a finger’s width taller than I was, mother of 2 kids but with such a svelte body, I decided to take her advice.

So I obediently trooped down to a pharmacy to check out this slimming cream. when i got there, i was bewildered by the range they had there. I rang her up to ask for specifics which she rattled on to me… 24-hour cream for legs, thighs and buttocks but I’m sure you can use it everywhere. I do. and in the midst of all that, she said the most important thing:

“I’ve been using it since my FIRST CHILD.

I paused. first child? she’s been using it since her first child? no wonder she had to use it lah! she had a reason to use it! what reason did I have? huh? my first what? what did I give birth to that gave me sagging fats? what hormones changed me so drastically that I have dimpled thighs if I pressed them really hard against my chair?

but of course vanity won over common sense. I bought the cream in the end and have been religiously slathering it nightly for two nights. except that after I massage it onto my thighs and butt, it all gets smeared over the chair I’m sitting on. so my nice faux leather chair is getting moisturised by a really expensive cream.

Sigh. the price of vanity.

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