Traveling with old people

Over the weekend we went to Malacca with a bus load of old people. No we weren’t volunteers on a eldery day trip tour nor did we board the wrong bus. Bryan’s uncle D was celebrating his 10th wedding anniversary in Malacca and brought the lot of us with him. The party included  transportation, boarding and loads of food. we signed up for it thinking that we’d have loads of fun, not realising that all the younger people, the cousins, decided to drive up in their respective cars while Bryan and i were the only 2 young people on a bus of 20 fogeys.

We were the last to turn up at the pick-up point where the uncles and aunts were already finishing their breakfast, as older people tend to wake up earlier and be on time. I was amazed how much noise a bunch of old folks can make but these were people who like to have fun. Onboard the bus, Uncle D’s drinking friends were having the time of their life poking fun at him, mimicking how he orders his poor wife around and exaggerating his most-used word, AIYAH!!! They joked about the wild parties they were going to have upon reaching Malacca and even brought out a stack of play cards to wile the time away. These were the people who were out partying the night before till 4am! In contrast, the only 2 people under 40 years old were sitting at the back of the coach practically comatose from having to wake up at 6am to catch this bus.

There were 2 groups of people on this trip; the couples who were mostly related to Uncle D, and the singles who were Uncle D’s drinking friends. The couples showed up on time for everything and were generally quite proper while the drinking friends were constantly creating a ruckus  wherever they went. talking loudly in the lobby, banging their way through the corridors and waking up their neighbours, knocking a sink over in  drunken revelry. It seems age didn’t matter when it comes to having fun.

The relatively reserved relatives didn’t disappoint though;the conversations turned a little lewd at one point when a cousin explained the reason  his wife didn’t come on the trip was because she had a milk duct infection (she was breast feeding) and the uncles proceeded to make jokes about  the milk being trapped and how the cousin didn’t suck hard enough to release the milk. If said cousin needed help sucking, both uncles would be  happy to help.

it is clear that during the wedding, I have to sit this family well away from my conservative family, else I would hear no end from my mother.

No trip is complete without a few hiccups. The coach bus that brought us to Malacca broke down on one of the drives to a restaurant. We were  stranded by the side of the road as the bus driver frantically tried to call for the mechanic, unable to arrange another bus to pick us up within such  short notice because all buses were busy during this long weekend in Malaysia. So there we were loitering by the curb with 20 other older folks trying to hail cabs back to the hotel. Unperturbed, they started cracking jokes about pushing the bus back to the hotel, while the aunts quipped  that ladies get to sit on board while the men worked.

In all, it was an unexpectedly fun trip, considering we were with people almost twice our age. Who says one slows down when one gets older?

Happy lunar new year to New Mexico

This Chinese new year’s gathering, we are short of one. My cousin recently got married to an American whom she met on one of her work trips there. They apparently fell in love over the past year and he soon proposed. Of course she accepted and she’s moved there to be with him.

While surprised at this turn of events I’m happy for her. What was funny was the drama surrounding her departure. All along her family kept her engagement & impending departure under wraps while she applied for a special fiancee visa. It was only after she got it that they broke the news to the rest of the family.

My brother was the one who told me.
Brother: did you hear the gossip in the family? the SHOCKING NEWS?
Me: wut? Who’s underaged and pregnant?
Bro: no one!
Me: someone just came out & said he’s gay?
Bro: no!
Me: then what?! Someone going to jail?
Bro: no! Our cousin is eloping!!
Me: wut? Eloping? Why eloping? Wait a minute. If she’s eloping, how come you know?

Turns out that after my aunt told her sisters, my mother decided my cousin was eloping rather than getting married / relocating. She will do only the customary tea ceremony and that’s it. No fanfare, no Chinese dinner. Then she will move to New Mexico to be with him in 2 weeks. actually now that I think of it, I don’t remember attending any tea ceremony so perhaps that part hasn’t happened yet.

My mother was distraught. She felt disappointed that they didn’t give her ample warning to accept the news. Hence when she told my brother the news, it became an “elopement”. I had to roll my eyes at the drama. I didn’t understand the melodrama considering that my mother wasn’t close to my cousin at all, since they meet only once in a few months during family gatherings, unlike the close relationship my other aunt has with my cousin as they hang out every weekend. She also felt that my cousin should have been properly married before she left. This gave my brother and I the cue never to elope or we’d have to face her wrath.

I however was rather disappointed. to me, shocking news is when your 2 lesbian friends decided to have a baby together and 1 of them got herself artificially inseminated with a donor sperm. a white male donor. they now have 2 kids. true story.

Anyway, we had a little lunch gathering at her parent’s home the weekend before she flew off. she showed me her passport where her visa proudly pronounced her Fiancee of David something something (he had a CSI Miami like name). There were photographs of them in happy couple moments around the house. there was a bit of crying at the end which made me glad they thew the party at home.

That was a few months ago. Yesterday, when my relatives came over to my place, the sister of the elopee skyped my cousin all the way in New Mexico. The family gathered around to wish her gong xi gong xi Happy New Year! while she waved at us from the freezing -14C winter. she seemed well and safe, which gladdens me as I was half afraid her husband might have chopped her into pieces by now. Although from her screaming in the background whenever he brought out his pet lizards to show us, I’m not sure about the safe bit (gosh! who keeps lizards as PETS?)

A relative also residing in U.S. had sent her a CNY gift pack so she proudly waved around the nian gao (brown sticky sweet rice cake) she fried. We asked if her husband liked it and he obediently said he did, what with my cousin standing at his ear. We spoke to her husband in English while switching to a mix of Mandarin and Cantonese with her as she misses blabbering in these 2 languages over there. she has no one in that little town that speaks any of it.

She took us on a tour of her apartment while we took her on a tour of the CNY spread on the table she’s missing. we soon waved goodbye to the couple as it was close to 3am their side. I can’t help but think that from now on, our CNY celebrations are going to be a little different.

Happy Things #1

Home Cooked Meals

For the first time in a LONG time, everyone’s home at the same time to have a home cooked dinner together, courtesy of my father. he cooked my new favourite steamed fish (threadfin) 4th time in a row but I’ll never tire of it. Courtesy calls that I shouldn’t finish all the fish on the table but who cares.

Then there was the age old argument as to why my dad and I don’t eat fish cake. I guess many people think fish = fish balls = fish cake but frankly, if you enjoy the finer things in life, you can so tell the difference.

My dad also prepared cold steamed chicken served with fermented bean sauce. Lovely. But given that fish > chicken, I ate most of the fish instead.

by the way, although my dad is the chef of the house, my mom has this amazing ability to cook a meal out of nothing, as you can see from the picture above. Dad had finished all the food last Sunday and we had ZERO ingredients. no one wanted to leave the house for food and we were sick of McDelivery. So mom dug around the fridge and found some chicken, eggs, leftover corn from my brother’s BBQ party and organic rice. We, an Asian home, actually ran out of white rice at home. Preposterous.